fear of success....

for a while, i've been working on my run. especially since the bike accident that i had last april, i felt that my run had been lagging. it's like i lose my hop, i lose my steps, i lose my stride, i lose my speed on the run. after having talked to a couple of my teammates and coaches, the suggested caffeine, which in the beginning i wasn't so sure. for the past 3 months, i had been searching for it. searching for the run, seaching for the hop. i worked on the run, do strides, asking questions, asked coach mike to watch for my running mechanism, which according to him, there's nothing wrong. so, i got confused. it made me kept on thinking and trying and training for it.
last week, on the race, i did use some caffeine before the run leg and yes it did feel good and i actually felt pretty good. then again, last week, it was definitely a good day to race. not too hot with a little bit of wind, or is it because i was calm? i was quite early arriving at the race site, so i got time to relax, calm my self and all that........hm....so many questions.....
then yesterday, i ran on my own in the afternoon at the park. suddenly, i felt really good. i felt i got my hop back, i got my run back. i got my strides, i got my speed and i felt like i can keep on running.....just like the movie, 'run, fat boy, run'....
before the run, i did not do anything special. i did not take extra caffeine, i did not take anything extra. and to tell u the truth, the day was quite hot.
having been experienced this, i consulted my teammate and coach mike. out of the conversation, the main point is many times we are afraid of failure, because those failure is based on the past experience that we had, we faced and maybe even just seeing. he told me that apparently i am not afraid of the distances that i had gone and will be going thru in the races. some people are afraid of being success. we are not suppose to be afraid of success.

why fear success? why fear failure?
those are the things that made life worth living. those are the things that made life interesting. those are the things that formed life. those are the dynamics of life.

after thinking about all these over nite, i realized that this is a lot like our needs of GOD. when we're down, we seek HIM even more. we so desperately need HIM. we search, we pray, we seek and sometimes we even try other things. but the fact of the matter is the only thing that we need to do are to raise our hands, kneel down, bow before HIM, and lay all our burden on HIS feet. in Matt 11:28, the verse said, '...come to ME, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give u rest...'

i was 'weary' of my run, my failure, my past experience, my accident. then, i worked on it, i seek advice, i questioned, i 'knocked' and finally, thank GOD. i thank HIM for giving me 'rest', for 'opening the door'.

life.....is definitely interesting. without all these, thre would be no life....
don't fear failure, don't fear success, fear GOD.....